OTH: The Simpsons- "Realty Bites" / "Miracle on Evergreen Terrace"
Stay off the West Side.
Season 9, Episode 9
Aired December 7, 1997
Directed by Swinton O. Scott III
Written by Dan Greaney
Synopsis: Marge is feeling restless with her life and begs Homer to do something with their weekend beyond staying at home. They make it to the annual police auction, where Homer blows a wad of cash on Snake’s muscle car, which he makes a note of inside the prison. Homer appreciates his new car too much and drives home rapidly to Marge’s displeasure. She asks to be pulled over and walk home instead of dealing with his reckless driving. On her walk, Marge runs into Lionel Hutz, who she learns is also a realtor. The job interests her, so Hutz offers her a job at his firm if she can pass the test to get a license. While Marge is nervous about passing, she gets support from the kids, who help her write a catchy song to remind her of the various laws and zones she’ll have to remember, and that does the trick. Marge gets her blazer and starts showing some of the town’s residents the houses that are for sale, although none are quite up to par, and she can’t lie about it. And that’s a problem, because Marge isn’t selling anything, and Hutz tells her if she can’t sell one house by the end of the week, she’s fired. Marge tries to improve her lying skills as she shows the Flanders around the various homes for sale. None seem to be doing the trick, but one catches Ned and Maude’s eye- the so-called murder house, which has been considered an impossible sale, and remembering Hutz’s words, she decides to keep her mouth shut when they don’t recall the place’s origin. She takes the check and becomes the office’s new MVP, but her conscious won’t stop pestering her. After the Flanders say their goodbyes to their old neighbors, Marge decides to check on Ned and co and tells them the truth, but here’s the thing- the Flanders are surprisingly into the news. Marge almost walks out and cashes her check, but that’s before the second plot comes into play. After seeing Homer struggle with his car, Snake breaks out of prison and tries to get his car back, enlisting a couple of cartoonish stunts. He eventually jumps into the car and tries to intimidate Homer to give it back, but he starts fighting Snake and gets a couple of good hits in. They both lose control of the wheel as the car eventually crashes into the Flanders’ new house, along with Chief Wiggum on their trail. Ned rips up Marge’s check, and she’s promptly fired from the agency, but she does get paid thanks to unemployment.
We’ve seen Marge get a job before, but real estate seems like something she’d be good at. She’s a people pleaser, can largely work her own schedule, and knows the town and its locals inside and out. What makes “Realty Bites” so interesting, though, is that this is one of the few times she fails at her job.
Marge is a people pleaser, but that appears to be to her detriment as a realtor. She’s too honest and struggles to keep her mouth shut when needed. It makes sense that an attorney like Hutz, who’s expected to know the law inside and out, can flourish by comparison, as he’s learned to not lie, but hone the truth into a reasonable manner to his benefit. Or he should if he didn’t suck so much as a lawyer, but his skills do seem to be a better fit for realty.
Still, she clearly wants the job, or at least some feeling of satisfaction from holding a job down. It makes for a good episode, but it could be even better, since the opening act with Homer’s reluctance is largely ignored for the rest of the episode. I think this could have been a great angle to focus the episode on, having Marge feel the need to prove herself when Homer is too apathetic to show his support, but his material in the last act goes in a different direction.
A fun one, at least. I appreciate Snake’s Wile E. Coyote-inspired stunts and the side characters we’re introduced to, but it’s not an episode that I think graduates to the top of the class. Not every Simpsons episode needs to be a five-star masterpiece, mind you- if they all are, then none of them are, right?- and I think we’re still in a good place for the show.
This will be the last appearance of Lionel Hutz on the series, due to Phil Hartman’s untimely death, although it won’t be Hartman’s last appearance, period. Both Hutz and Troy McClure will be retired out of respect for the character, background shots aside. I’ll talk more about Hartman’s legacy when we get to that point in the series.
Season 9, Episode 10
Aired December 21, 1997
Directed by Bob Anderson
Written by Ron Hauge
Synopsis: It’s Christmas Eve, and as excited as everyone is to open their presents, Marge insists that everyone wake up at 7 am sharp so they can spend the day together. That won’t do for Bart, who drinks 12 (!) glasses of water to ensure that he wakes up early. Sure enough, mother nature starts him up around 5, and after stopping at the bathroom, Bart goes through his presents. He goes straight for the big one, which is a remote controlled firetruck and lets it wreck havoc around the house, when it accidentally sprays the outlets connected to the Christmas tree, setting it on fire. Before Bart can get a hose to spray out the fire (not a smart idea, being an electrical fire and all), the fire melts the tree and all of the presents into a giant glob, which Bart digs as deep into the snow as he can. When the family wakes up, Bart creates a song and dance about burglars coming in and stealing everything, including the tree. The family believes him as they mope their way across town and see how everyone else is enjoying their Christmas, with even Grampa’s retirement home switching up their medication. Homer later heads over to Moe’s, when he sees a news report at his house, going over their loss. He heads home and sees everyone in town stop by and offer them some money, leaving them fifteen grand. While the family was thinking of replacing the gifts they lost, they’re convinced to spend the money on something fun, so Homer buys a new station wagon. Their drive home doesn’t go so well, though, as he’s a little too excited and drives too fast, making them swerve into thin ice. The family escapes, but the car sinks and then explodes, making their purchase a waste of money. No one’s too disappointed, though, since they’re happy to be alive. The next day, Bart wakes up and confesses to what really happened, which they’re not happy with. While Lisa and Homer try to strangle Bart, they’re interrupted by Kent Brockman, who’s stopping by for a check-up after their exciting story from yesterday. The family decides to keep the lie alive, but it all comes together when Santa’s Little Helper pulls out the glob of Christmas remains, and they have no choice but to come clean. Brockman demonizes the family on TV for lying, but thanks them off camera for an exciting news story. The Simpsons have become pariahs in town, and the only way they can win everyone’s trust back is to give back the money they were given. Marge’s plan- to score in Jeopardy- doesn’t go well, and Alex Trebek (RIP) nearly makes them pay what they owe before the family escapes in time. As they return to Springfield, they see the town folks at their house ready to forgive them… by stealing the Simpsons’ worldly possessions, including their pets. But hey, they still have each other, and a washcloth.
People seem to really not like “Miracle on Evergreen Terrace”, and… I kind of get it. It’s not a very pleasant episode, and while I’m all for dark humor (recall my positive review of “Homer’s Enemy”), I don’t think that this is the show at its best. Although if you listen to the commentary, it sounds like the cast and crew think this is a masterpiece above their first Christmas story.
And initially, making another Christmas episode wasn’t a very popular idea, as they only get to air once or so a year, and sure, I get that. Besides, when your first test to the public is already a Christmas episode, it can easily seem like you’re trying to repeat already treaded ground. So if the show decides to do another holiday special, it should be a bonafide slam dunk, right?
I just don’t think we have that with “Miracle on Evergreen Terrace”, which is kind of a mean concept and leans too hard on doubling down on it. Bart may deserve the scorn he receives around town, but it’s his lie and one that he kept from the family until just before the carpet is pulled from under them, so why should they all be punished? The rest of the family doesn’t deserve having their belongings stolen. Maybe a spat-on burger, but that’s it.
Bad luck humor works best with some sort of balance, ideally if the character deserves their punishment, or if you’re clever with punching down. “Miracle on Evergreen Terrace” has a few moments where we’re close to that, but I think it' ultimately suffers from who’s behind the script. Ron Hauge hasn’t quite proven he’s up to the task of handling the family at its best yet. A Swartzwelder could find the right mixture, or at least add sharper gags to make it work (and would hopefully give Alex Trebeck more to do), as otherwise this isn’t the show at its best.
Homer’s Bar Tab:
Chalkboard Gag Wars- “There was no Roman god called ‘Farticus’” vs. “Rudolph’s red nose is not alcohol-related.” Boozehound jokes are funnier than fart jokes.
Couch Gag Wars- The frame of the family on the couch being flipped vs. the family is in a snow globe. I like the St. Elsewhere reference in the latter.
In the commentary for “Reality Bites”, The Simpsons Hit n’ Run is in Mike Scully’s notes for the episode, but no one knows what that is. I remember renting the game way back when. It was okay, but I think it got a little monotonous fast. Is that a hot take?
“Please don’t tell anyone how I live.” Hey, Larry Burns!
Credit where credit’s due- Homer’s aisle 9 plan was pretty smart.
“She ain’t gettin’ the home version.”
New Character Column- Last season, the show called up Jack Lemmon to play a reprisal of sorts to his character in Glengarry Glen Ross, but now we meet Gill, the show’s perennial loser in the same fashion. He’s a bad real estate agent, but don’t worry, he’ll be bad in everything else before long, too. Cookie Cwan, queen of the West Side, also appears for the first time here and will be a semi-regular, although Tress MacNeille’s voice hasn’t aged so well.
Next Week: Another clip show! Boo. This time it’s musical-themed. Boo-urns? And then in the real episode, Homer invites a couple of carnies into the house.
